Looking for more Information on BDSM Relationships
As I explore my own sexuality I find there is more and more I don't know. Although far from submissive all the time or in real life, I am at times quite submissive. A Switch. I would love to read more about the dynamics of BDSM from the relationship side or the Dom side. Can anyone recommend any good books or blogs? I already read 24.7 and PixiePie but those are both written from the submissive side.
posted by Anonymous at 10:10 pm
7 Comments:
Hello!
I would recommend His to Spank, His to Love
Also there's My Bottom Smarts
I like DragonM & lessaD
These are among the best blogs I know of which discuss the deeper dynamics of D/s and BDSM relationships on an ongoing basis. Each of these blogs has a lovely links list that will lead you to more.
The two you mentioned are just one aspect of the wide range of ways to approach D/s and BDSM.
I have a unique approach to it also...but I am not direct in my discussion of it most of the time and currently I'm not writing about D/s and BDSM from the context of an active relationship, but I am not currently in an active submission with anyone. My marriage is not D/s, though it used to be. In any case, I hope you find what you are looking for in a good blog.
As far as some books...I haven't read much about these topics in terms of books. The one book I really found that begins to approach things as I do, is called Radical Ecstasy by Easton and Hardy. For me, submission is an inward experience, not something that a Dominant can just give you. It is a dynamic that is generated from within and the Dominant simply provides the milieu for exploring the relationship from within that context. It is a devotion that ascends the relationship into the Divine/sublime. It is not simply the man...but the Divine within him which elicits the submission for me.
This book is an exploration of the ecstatic experience that may be found in BDSM. It does not really discuss directly anything about D/s.
I have one further philosophy that few reach right away...There is a great arousal from the taking that's done by Doms...Its the ultimate thrill sexually...but most people bounce from relationship to relationship, becoming jaded and not being able to figure out why.
The deeper truth to this situation is that you can't have a give, give, given dynamic for the submissive and a take, take, take one from the Dom that's healthy. Relationships that last only do so when the dynamic between the couple is equally giving and devoted....and its boring to have a selfish/slavish relationship going on all the time. It cannot be sustained. Sooner or later, someone will get their feelings hurt or get bored and then the relationship dissolves.
The examples that the couples in these blogs that I've shared are ones that function in very healthy ways and each partner is clearly devoted to the other.
Good luck
Greenwoman
Green Rootsdown
Take a look at my blog...
I have a humongous blogroll of bdsm blogs on my site (http://subnouveau.blogspot.com). A good chunk are blogs by subs, such as mine, I do have a handful of Dom blogs, but they seem to be few and far behind. My favorite Dom blog is http://www.sensual-service.com/
I write about power exchange at my blog -- it's not the only focus or theme, but it's there (and you can use the tags/labels to find specific posts). I naturally welcome the thoughts of others, via comments or email. :)
I'd also suggest Sex-Kitten.Net. Again, not the only focus, but lots of good articles & interviews. They also have a BDSM book, if you'd prefer to read off-line.
It seems well-written blogs by dominant males are difficult to find (I was going to say, 'hard to come by' but that seemed cliche). Perhaps this is because of the nature of such men - they do not wax on poetically, but are men of action.
I found a great book.
The Wild Side Sex: The Book of Kink by Midori
Midori has been writing and thinking about sex since 1997. She has had some formal training with San Francisco Sex Information, worked with many organized kink communities and published in numerous magazines. This book is a collection of many of the essays that she has written over time, although they have been edited and updated for publication.
This book is a great book for anyone that is looking to understand more about anything beyond vanilla sex. She covers many different areas - why SM?, public sex, the emotional aspects of pain and submission, humiliation play, trust in different contexts, ritucal/ceremony, aftercare for both the top and bottom from and emotional side, chastity play, fetish and more.
There is an entire section devoted to Tips & Tricks for Adventurous Sex.
This is one of the best books that I've found for understanding the deeper aspects of one's sexual nature. I highly recommend it.
O/our blog focuses on the relationship aspect of BDSM from a M/s perspective.
W/we have an extensive blog list of like minded people, Dom, sub and erotica.
MJ's slave
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