Is Sex Blogging Only For the Young?
While I appreciate that blogging is something younger people gravitate to, there's something a bit disconcerting that so much of this revolves around the young -- where are the folks in their late 40's-50's?? Are they just out living their lives with no time to sit in front of their computers? Or does it have something to do with declining sex drives/lack of interest . . . or heaven knows what?
Now, I do know there are bloggers out there like Dirty Talking Girl and Clayton Holiday who are no longer 20- or 30-something. But a quick perusal among the members of this community will show that a majority are well under 40. Not only that, but if you scout other sex and relationship bloggers "out there," it becomes obvious that few of them are spending any appreciable time chronicling sex, much less "alternative" relationships. There's A Perfect Marriage if you want hot monogamy, and of course a whole discussion forum devoted to hotwifery, though again, the age of most of its members is well below 40 from my casual observation.
So I ask myself: is it that the best sex writing is being done by the nubile? Or are older perverts like myself in the minority because our contemporaries are peacefully monogamous? Or have they simply given up? If it's not a crisis of energy, could it be that older perverts have to limit their activities, and are too busy boinking to blog?
The good news from my perspective and that of other older bloggers is that polyamorous perversity is alive and well at all ages. Last night I attended a discussion sponsored by Polyamorous NYC by Barbara Foster, Michael Foster and Letha Hadady, authors of Three In Love: Menages a Trois from Ancient to Modern Times. While the topic might have suggested a young trio of sluts, the Fosters and their long-time girlfriend, Ms. Hadady, were clearly among the member pool for AARP. I found this so refreshing, not only because of my own advanced years (careful readers will note that my first book appeared in 1776 just prior to the American Revolution), but because they showed that sexual deviance isn't restricted to the young.
You wouldn't know that from the preponderance of erotic imagery, either. When was the last time you saw a hot photograph of an older couple coupling?
While I would never presume to limit the membership of this group, or prescribe what topics should be covered in the various blogs, I would encourage everyone to re-examine their ideas about who's frisky and at what age sex no longer is important. Gloria Steinem revealed recently that at 73, she's glad the "combat" surrounding sex was behind her and she could concentrate on being friends with men. But if the comments on my blog are any indication, others are far from giving up the battle of the sexes anytime soon, at least if it ends up in sex.
My own writing derives directly from the efforts my wife and I have been making over the past year to "scrape the barnacles off our love life," a process that has found resonance with others no longer young. Just young at heart. So the next time you feel tempted to focus on that hot young stud or sexually-ambiguous Suicide Girl, ask yourself whether that gray-haired woman you saw on the bus today might be going to a rendezvous with her significant other, and will head home later to share the steamy details with her husband who's watching a porn DVD of Dave Cummings proving once again he can get it up and deliver the money shot.